Depression Chapter 5
Forgiving Ends These
Problems
Jesus Can Set You Free
(adapted from the book "I Will Give You Rest" by Edward Kurath)
Forgiveness Is Essential
In the book Chapter 4 (which you have not read yet, but can later
on by clicking on the left) I discussed that "judging" is what
plants the "bitter roots" in our heart that cause us to have "bad
fruit" in our lives. "Bad fruit" is behavior that we hate but are not
able to stop with our willpower. "Bad fruit" is what the Apostle
Paul wrote about when he said:
This is a serious condition, and we need a way to be set free from
the influence of these "bitter roots." Forgiving and being
forgiven by God is the cure. It is the only way that the "bitter
root" is pulled out and replaced by a "good root," which is the
presence of Jesus in us.
God has told us a great deal about why forgiveness is essential.
How Forgiving Sets Us Free
We need His blood to wash away this sin of judging so we don’t
have to reap the resulting consequences that come about from
the operation of God's laws. The only way to accomplish this is
to forgive (from our heart), and then to be forgiven by Jesus.
When He forgives us, He pays the debt we owe in the spiritual
realm, and we are set free from the consequences we would
otherwise have to pay for our debt.
When we forgive, Jesus comes into that place inside us and
displaces the bitterness. Then we become like Him in that area.
Therefore, forgiveness is the only way we can be changed into
the image of Jesus. And when Jesus has replaced the "bitter
root," we can feel it. In this case, the feeling of depression is
gone, and we feel peace - because the Prince of Peace is now
there.
If We Don't Forgive . . .
If we don’t forgive (from our heart), we won’t be forgiven by God
(though this sin will not send us to hell). If we are not forgiven by
God, we will continue to do the things we hate (we will continue
to experience the reaping from the operation of God’s laws, of
experiencing "bad fruit" from a "bad root"), and we will continue
to feel depressed.
There simply is no other way to be set free.
It Is A Miracle!
Stopping the reaping from our judging takes a miracle. "It means
that free, ethical obedience can have its origin only in miracle,
quite in keeping with the view that from the fetters of flesh and sin
man must be freed to obedience by the deed of God."
We need a legal transaction to take place in the spiritual realm if
we are to be like Jesus. Once the "bitter root" has been removed,
and Jesus has moved into that place in our heart, "good fruit"
begins to grow.
What Does It Mean To Forgive?
There are two common obstacles that often make it difficult for us
to forgive. The first obstacle is that we misunderstand what God
meant by "forgive." "Forgive" is a word that is so common
among Christians that we think we know what it means.
However, most of us were taught what this word means by the
world around us, and so the meaning we have attached to it may
not be the same as what God is referring to when He tells us to
forgive.
Sometimes this misunderstanding gets in the way of our being
able to forgive others or ourselves, in the process of our healing.
For instance, you may feel that you are justified in judging
yourself for falling short of behaving properly. In fact, you may
think it is your job to monitor your behavior and correct it
whenever you fall short. So then why would you need to forgive
yourself, since you are correct about your sin?
But that is legalism, and legalism destroys. Legalism is trying to
produce good behavior using your intellect and your will. As
Paul said above in Romans 7:15, that fails. Rather, you need
Jesus to remove the "bitter roots" that cause you to behave in
wrong ways. Read Chapters 2 and 3 (buttons on the left) for
details of how this works.
God Wants To Bless You
However, God loves you and He will not ask you to do something
that is not good for you, or is dangerous or destructive to you.
Once you understand what God meant when He told you to
forgive, you will find it much easier to forgive from your heart.
Your misunderstanding of what it means to forgive may have
been keeping you in bondage.
What Forgiveness Is NOT
Forgiveness is not the following:
What Forgiveness IS
Forgiveness is deciding not to hold yourself in debt.
Unforgiveness says, “You sinned and you are a bad boy/ girl. I
am going to punish you and make sure you don't sin again.
Forgiveness says, “Even though you sinned, I am writing it off. It
is not my place to make you pay, and I release you to the
judgment of Jesus. He is the just Judge, and He will rightly
decide the case. If there is any penalty, He will collect it.”
You Are The One Who Suffers
If you do not forgive, you are the one who suffers. God is a just
judge, which means that no one ever gets away with anything,
ever, anywhere. Not everyone believes this, but it is true. The law
of God is inescapable, and whatever you sow, you will surely
reap,
Because forgiving is so important, you need to remove
every obstacle that prevents you from accomplishing it,
and you need to be diligent in accomplishing it.
Remove Bitter Roots Immediately!
Bitter roots are easier to eradicate if we remove them soon after
they are planted. The longer they are allowed to grow, the larger
the root system becomes and the more difficult they are to pull
out. Gardeners understand this. When a weed first comes up in
a garden, it is small and frail. It can be plucked out easily.
However, if one neglects the garden for some time, pulling the
weeds is a big job. The roots of the weeds have then become
large and entrenched, and sometimes a large hole has to be dug
in order to remove them. Healing is easier if you remove a bitter
root as soon as it is planted.
Unforgiven Judgments
Accumulate
Another thing happens if we neglect to keep up with our
"weeding." If we allow the sins to pile up, eventually they
become too obvious to ignore. People who have lived in the
country know what a septic tank is. It is a big cement tank buried
under ground into which the wastewater from a house runs.
There the waste goes through a natural process of cleansing, but
some types of waste stays in the tank and gradually fills it up.
Periodically it needs to be pumped out, or it overflows and makes
a smelly mess. Our hearts are a bit like septic tanks. If we don't
keep our own pumped out, it eventually fills up with junk,
overflows and makes a mess. It is therefore important that we
pump ours out every time some waste enters it.
In other words, we need to forgive every time we judge so that
our own "septic tank" (our heart) stays clean.
Who Do We Need To Forgive?
There are probably many people we need to forgive.
Psychotherapy and Christian counseling have both tended to
focus on relationships with our parents and our siblings. Without
a doubt these relationships were impactful, and the roots of
bitterness resulting from being wounded by them cause major
problems for us.
However, the deepest hurts, the ones producing the greatest
emotional pain, and the most devastating fruit comes from
judging God and judging ourselves. Yet it may seem strange
and new to be walking through forgiveness of God and of
ourselves.
Importance Of Forgiving God
Somehow it seems weird to forgive God, because He did not do
anything wrong! And perhaps it is scary to think that we may
have blamed Him. But I believe that all of us have judged Him in
some way.
It is important to recognize that for us to have judged another
does not mean that person actually wronged us. What is
important is that we perceive that he or she has wronged us. For
instance, we may feel that an individual has rejected us, and we
may have become angry and judged him. Then we may find out
later that the person did not reject us at all. Even though he didn’t
actually wrong us, we still need to forgive him and be forgiven.
Discovering that the person had not actually rejected us will not
remove the "bitter root" that we planted.
The discovery that he did not actually reject us may make it easier
to forgive, but it does not remove the "bitter root" that was
planted when we judged them. Though we wrongly perceived
the rejection, a legal transaction still occurred in the spiritual
realm, and that sin needs to be paid for by Jesus, or we will surely
experience the "bad fruit" from the "bitter root."
This is the way it is with God. He did not do anything wrong, but
when we judged Him, we thought He did. For instance, if as a
child we were abused, it is very likely that when the abuse was
happening we judged God for not protecting us. Though we may
not be consciously aware of this judgment, we will reap from this
"bitter root" until we forgive Him.
Importance Of Forgiving Yourself
It may also seem strange to recognize that you have judged
yourself. How is that possible? In addition, forgiving and asking
for forgiveness for judging yourself may seem very unusual and
unnatural. But Paul said that God is the only one who has a right
to judge you. You do not have this right. I will explore this issue
in more detail in Chapter 9, "There Is Buried Treasure." Here I
simply want to point out that your relationship with yourself is
very important. You need to repair it where it is damaged, and
you need to live with yourself in a new and loving way.
Self-Judgment Is Very Common -
And Destructive
I have counseled people who have been working on their Inner
Healing for years and who have forgiven every person
imaginable, and yet they were still suffering great emotional pain.
I have found that the key for these people is that they had judged
themselves and have not forgiven and been forgiven.
We All Talk To Ourselves
When people say, "Ed, this is really weird, speaking to myself and
asking myself to forgive me." To this statement I simply respond,
"When you made a mistake and said, 'You dummy', who were
you talking to?" Inevitably they say, "To myself." You see, we all
speak to ourselves regularly, but it is frequently harsh and
judgmental talk. The thing that feels weird about speaking to
ourselves in forgiveness is not that we are talking to ourselves,
but that we are saying nice things.
Elements For Accomplishing
Forgiveness
There are certain elements involved in walking through the process of
forgiving when we have judged:
1. Recognition: First, we need to recognize that we have
judged (sinned). Denial and fear can often interfere with our
ability to see what we have done.
2. Confession: Then we need to confess that we have sinned.
3. Repentance: This means to turn away from the sin. We
need to hate the sin and want to no longer walk in that way.
4. Forgiveness: We need to make a decision to forgive, and
then forgive from our heart.
5. Accept forgiveness from God. Sometimes another person
needs to verbalize to us that God has forgiven us before we are
able to accept this fact.
6. Ask the Lord to fill that place in our heart with His
presence. We need Him to take up residence in that place that
had previously contained bitterness, judgment, and blame.
In the case of close relationships, which is of course true of
yourself, when you judge you have two things to do:
How To Pray
Forgiveness must come from the heart to be effectual:
Jesus always looks on the heart, not the behavior, and we
can't fool Him. Therefore,
It is always important that we forgive from our heart as
the living Lord leads, rather than recite a rote prayer as
though it were a magical formula.
You Need To Speak Forgiveness
Please be aware of the important position that words have in our
prayers of forgiveness. For some reason, God set up the
universe in such a way that words have power. Then God said,
"Let there be light," and there was light (Genesis 1:3). The words
that I speak bring my thoughts into reality. Once they are spoken,
it is as though a legal contract has been signed, or a legal event
has happened, in the spiritual realm. The words can be "bad"
and bring about difficulty (for example judging), or they can be
"good" and bring about life (for example blessing someone).
Though the Bible doesn't explain to us why words have power, it
does make the fact abundantly clear, that they do have great
power.
How To Forgive God And Yourself
Accomplishing forgiveness of God and of yourself is very similar
to forgiving others who are close to us. In the case of close,
important relationships, we not only want to stop the reaping
from our Bitter Root Judgment, we also want to restore the
relationship. If we have judged a close person, this attitude has
probably affected our behavior towards them. If they are
sensitive people, our new behavior has hurt them, and we need
to take responsibility for our behavior and ask them to forgive us.
For example, imagine that your best friend completely forgets
about your birthday. You are hurt by this, and you begin to
withdraw from the relationship. Your friend can tell that you are
angry, but doesn't know why. When you realize that you have
judged him (or her), you need to pray as mentioned previously
("Elements Involved In Accomplishing Forgiveness"). This takes
care of the spiritual aspect of the problem, but now you need to
restore your relationship with him.
You need to go to your friend, confess that you have judged him,
and have allowed your bitterness to affect how you have treated
him. Then you ask him to forgive you for withdrawing, and your
friendship is restored.
In a similar way, when you have judged God or yourself, you
likewise need to resolve:
as well as
After all, these are the two most important relationships you have,
and judgments interfere with these intimate relationships. You
need these relationships to be loving, open, and intimate, or life
will not go well.
For example, suppose you judge yourself when you fall short of
proper behavior. When you realize you have done this, you
confess this to the Lord, forgive yourself and are forgiven by
God. Then you need to restore your relationship with yourself by
speaking to yourself, confessing what you have done, and
asking forgiveness. You say exactly the same things you would
say to your close friend when he or she forgot your birthday.
Forgiving Is Miraculous
My "Dog Story"
Perhaps you already read this story elsewhere on
this website.
If so, just skip it.
If not, I think it will really help you to grasp the
simplicity and power of the Lord Jesus' provision
for us.
I am a jogger, and I live on the side of a mountain. In the winter it
is icy, and I can't run here; because I will fall and break
something. Therefore I drive 4 miles to town. There is a street
that is about 1 1/2 miles out and 1 1/2 miles back that is plowed
and sanded and does not have much traffic. That is my running
track in the winter.
One day a few years ago I was almost at the far end of the run
when two mid-sized dogs ran out after me. I have learned that
you don't run from dogs, so I turned on them and I shouted,
"Hey, you get back there."
They skidded to a stop. The owner was a woman who was
standing on the sidewalk.
She said, "Hey, don't talk to my dogs like that."
I said, "Lady, you have to be kidding me. We are in town, there is
a leash law here. Your dogs shouldn't be here in the street."
She called her dogs and went inside.
As I continued my run, I was very upset. I thought, "This is the
only convenient place I have to run, and I'm not going to let them
spoil that. What will I do about it? I know what. I have a foot long
steel bar in my garage. I'll carry that. Then when they come out,
I'll take care of them."
Then I thought again. It wasn't really the dogs' fault, and I'd
probably get in trouble if I hurt them. Then what can I do instead?
"I know what I'll do," I thought. "I'll carry my cell phone. Then
when they come out after me, I'll grab one of them by the collar
and call the dog warden. Then she'll get a ticket, and that should
fix her."
I finished my run, drove home, took a shower, and went to my
office.
As I sat down, I was still chewing over this situation. As I
grumbled over it, I got the distinct impression that the Lord was
tapping me on the shoulder. I knew what He wanted: He wanted
me to forgive the woman. I didn't want to forgive her, and argued
with the Lord.
"But she was so thoughtless. She had no right to let her dogs
loose, etc, etc, etc."
Eventually I knew it was a losing battle arguing with the Lord, so I
agreed to forgive her, thought I still didn't want to. I realized I
wasn't angry at the dogs. I was angry at the owner.
As I prayed, gradually I calmed down. I forgave her, asked the
Lord to forgive me for judging her. I asked Him to take out the
bitter root I had just planted, to cleanse that place, and to fill it
with His presence.
I began to recognize that she had a permanent scowl on her face;
and a healthy person would have said something like,
"I'm sorry, sir. Are you alright? Did they scare you?"
I realized that she was a wounded and unhappy person, and I
began to pray for her. I suspected that she might not know the
Lord, and began to pray for her salvation.
that. I was the judge, she was wrong, I was right, and I was going
to make her pay.
Now I saw her as Christ sees her. I saw her neediness and
wounding.
A miracle had occurred.
Before I prayed, I was a bit nuts. I was on the throne, she was
wrong, and I was sure I was right. I was in the mind of the "flesh."
After I prayed, I had the mind of Christ. Jesus in me (in that place
where I had just invited Him to enter) was producing "good fruit."
I was thinking the way He was, and I was acting the way He
would act.
When we forgive, a miracle occurs. It is not something we can
accomplish on our own.
We can repress our anger, or try to be nice; but we can't change
what is inside us.
Only the blood of Jesus can accomplish it. And it does!
It is the ONLY CURE for depression.
Now that you understand that it is your forgiving and
being forgiven by the Lord that will set you free from the
bad fruit in your life, and from your feelings of
depression; it is important that you understand that you
are not a bad child who has been caught with your hand
in the cookie jar. That is not God's attitude at all. Jesus
not only provided forgiveness for your sins, He is eager
to do just that. In fact, He will lead you down the path to
freedom.
Click here to go to Chapter 6 to learn how
eager Jesus is to set you free.
Complete your journey
Click here to see how to buy the book.
Copyright 2003 by Edward Kurath
Forgiving Ends These
Problems
Jesus Can Set You Free
(adapted from the book "I Will Give You Rest" by Edward Kurath)
Forgiveness Is Essential
In the book Chapter 4 (which you have not read yet, but can later
on by clicking on the left) I discussed that "judging" is what
plants the "bitter roots" in our heart that cause us to have "bad
fruit" in our lives. "Bad fruit" is behavior that we hate but are not
able to stop with our willpower. "Bad fruit" is what the Apostle
Paul wrote about when he said:
- For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to
do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do . . . O
wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body
of death? I thank God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!
(Romans 7:15, 24, 25).
This is a serious condition, and we need a way to be set free from
the influence of these "bitter roots." Forgiving and being
forgiven by God is the cure. It is the only way that the "bitter
root" is pulled out and replaced by a "good root," which is the
presence of Jesus in us.
God has told us a great deal about why forgiveness is essential.
- 1. Forgiveness is important because God said so. Jesus
is the only Judge of the universe. When we judge, we
attempt to take His place. We will suffer if do this.
2. Forgiveness is important for us. When we judge, we
sin and this plants a "bitter root" in our heart. This" bitter
root" will produce "bad fruit" (sinful behavior) . There is
only one cure for this, and that is the blood of Jesus. He
shed His blood to take away our sins.
How Forgiving Sets Us Free
We need His blood to wash away this sin of judging so we don’t
have to reap the resulting consequences that come about from
the operation of God's laws. The only way to accomplish this is
to forgive (from our heart), and then to be forgiven by Jesus.
When He forgives us, He pays the debt we owe in the spiritual
realm, and we are set free from the consequences we would
otherwise have to pay for our debt.
When we forgive, Jesus comes into that place inside us and
displaces the bitterness. Then we become like Him in that area.
Therefore, forgiveness is the only way we can be changed into
the image of Jesus. And when Jesus has replaced the "bitter
root," we can feel it. In this case, the feeling of depression is
gone, and we feel peace - because the Prince of Peace is now
there.
If We Don't Forgive . . .
If we don’t forgive (from our heart), we won’t be forgiven by God
(though this sin will not send us to hell). If we are not forgiven by
God, we will continue to do the things we hate (we will continue
to experience the reaping from the operation of God’s laws, of
experiencing "bad fruit" from a "bad root"), and we will continue
to feel depressed.
There simply is no other way to be set free.
It Is A Miracle!
Stopping the reaping from our judging takes a miracle. "It means
that free, ethical obedience can have its origin only in miracle,
quite in keeping with the view that from the fetters of flesh and sin
man must be freed to obedience by the deed of God."
We need a legal transaction to take place in the spiritual realm if
we are to be like Jesus. Once the "bitter root" has been removed,
and Jesus has moved into that place in our heart, "good fruit"
begins to grow.
What Does It Mean To Forgive?
There are two common obstacles that often make it difficult for us
to forgive. The first obstacle is that we misunderstand what God
meant by "forgive." "Forgive" is a word that is so common
among Christians that we think we know what it means.
However, most of us were taught what this word means by the
world around us, and so the meaning we have attached to it may
not be the same as what God is referring to when He tells us to
forgive.
Sometimes this misunderstanding gets in the way of our being
able to forgive others or ourselves, in the process of our healing.
For instance, you may feel that you are justified in judging
yourself for falling short of behaving properly. In fact, you may
think it is your job to monitor your behavior and correct it
whenever you fall short. So then why would you need to forgive
yourself, since you are correct about your sin?
But that is legalism, and legalism destroys. Legalism is trying to
produce good behavior using your intellect and your will. As
Paul said above in Romans 7:15, that fails. Rather, you need
Jesus to remove the "bitter roots" that cause you to behave in
wrong ways. Read Chapters 2 and 3 (buttons on the left) for
details of how this works.
God Wants To Bless You
However, God loves you and He will not ask you to do something
that is not good for you, or is dangerous or destructive to you.
Once you understand what God meant when He told you to
forgive, you will find it much easier to forgive from your heart.
Your misunderstanding of what it means to forgive may have
been keeping you in bondage.
What Forgiveness Is NOT
Forgiveness is not the following:
- 1. It is not saying you did not sin, when in fact you did.
2. It is not relieving yourself of your responsibility, such
as making excuses for your actions.
3. It is not forgetting what you did. You can’t forget, but
the hurt can be removed from the memory, and you can be
forgiven for your judging.
4. It is not a “feeling." Rather, forgiving is a decision.
However, when forgiveness has been accomplished you
will feel differently - your will feel peace rather than
depression.
5. It is not saying or pretending you didn't sin, or
ignoring the negative feeling because you aren’t supposed
to sin. Rather, you need to process your feelings, not
suppress them.
What Forgiveness IS
Forgiveness is deciding not to hold yourself in debt.
Unforgiveness says, “You sinned and you are a bad boy/ girl. I
am going to punish you and make sure you don't sin again.
Forgiveness says, “Even though you sinned, I am writing it off. It
is not my place to make you pay, and I release you to the
judgment of Jesus. He is the just Judge, and He will rightly
decide the case. If there is any penalty, He will collect it.”
You Are The One Who Suffers
If you do not forgive, you are the one who suffers. God is a just
judge, which means that no one ever gets away with anything,
ever, anywhere. Not everyone believes this, but it is true. The law
of God is inescapable, and whatever you sow, you will surely
reap,
- "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a
man sows, that he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7).
Because forgiving is so important, you need to remove
every obstacle that prevents you from accomplishing it,
and you need to be diligent in accomplishing it.
Remove Bitter Roots Immediately!
Bitter roots are easier to eradicate if we remove them soon after
they are planted. The longer they are allowed to grow, the larger
the root system becomes and the more difficult they are to pull
out. Gardeners understand this. When a weed first comes up in
a garden, it is small and frail. It can be plucked out easily.
However, if one neglects the garden for some time, pulling the
weeds is a big job. The roots of the weeds have then become
large and entrenched, and sometimes a large hole has to be dug
in order to remove them. Healing is easier if you remove a bitter
root as soon as it is planted.
Unforgiven Judgments
Accumulate
Another thing happens if we neglect to keep up with our
"weeding." If we allow the sins to pile up, eventually they
become too obvious to ignore. People who have lived in the
country know what a septic tank is. It is a big cement tank buried
under ground into which the wastewater from a house runs.
There the waste goes through a natural process of cleansing, but
some types of waste stays in the tank and gradually fills it up.
Periodically it needs to be pumped out, or it overflows and makes
a smelly mess. Our hearts are a bit like septic tanks. If we don't
keep our own pumped out, it eventually fills up with junk,
overflows and makes a mess. It is therefore important that we
pump ours out every time some waste enters it.
In other words, we need to forgive every time we judge so that
our own "septic tank" (our heart) stays clean.
Who Do We Need To Forgive?
There are probably many people we need to forgive.
Psychotherapy and Christian counseling have both tended to
focus on relationships with our parents and our siblings. Without
a doubt these relationships were impactful, and the roots of
bitterness resulting from being wounded by them cause major
problems for us.
However, the deepest hurts, the ones producing the greatest
emotional pain, and the most devastating fruit comes from
judging God and judging ourselves. Yet it may seem strange
and new to be walking through forgiveness of God and of
ourselves.
Importance Of Forgiving God
Somehow it seems weird to forgive God, because He did not do
anything wrong! And perhaps it is scary to think that we may
have blamed Him. But I believe that all of us have judged Him in
some way.
It is important to recognize that for us to have judged another
does not mean that person actually wronged us. What is
important is that we perceive that he or she has wronged us. For
instance, we may feel that an individual has rejected us, and we
may have become angry and judged him. Then we may find out
later that the person did not reject us at all. Even though he didn’t
actually wrong us, we still need to forgive him and be forgiven.
Discovering that the person had not actually rejected us will not
remove the "bitter root" that we planted.
The discovery that he did not actually reject us may make it easier
to forgive, but it does not remove the "bitter root" that was
planted when we judged them. Though we wrongly perceived
the rejection, a legal transaction still occurred in the spiritual
realm, and that sin needs to be paid for by Jesus, or we will surely
experience the "bad fruit" from the "bitter root."
This is the way it is with God. He did not do anything wrong, but
when we judged Him, we thought He did. For instance, if as a
child we were abused, it is very likely that when the abuse was
happening we judged God for not protecting us. Though we may
not be consciously aware of this judgment, we will reap from this
"bitter root" until we forgive Him.
Importance Of Forgiving Yourself
It may also seem strange to recognize that you have judged
yourself. How is that possible? In addition, forgiving and asking
for forgiveness for judging yourself may seem very unusual and
unnatural. But Paul said that God is the only one who has a right
to judge you. You do not have this right. I will explore this issue
in more detail in Chapter 9, "There Is Buried Treasure." Here I
simply want to point out that your relationship with yourself is
very important. You need to repair it where it is damaged, and
you need to live with yourself in a new and loving way.
Self-Judgment Is Very Common -
And Destructive
I have counseled people who have been working on their Inner
Healing for years and who have forgiven every person
imaginable, and yet they were still suffering great emotional pain.
I have found that the key for these people is that they had judged
themselves and have not forgiven and been forgiven.
We All Talk To Ourselves
When people say, "Ed, this is really weird, speaking to myself and
asking myself to forgive me." To this statement I simply respond,
"When you made a mistake and said, 'You dummy', who were
you talking to?" Inevitably they say, "To myself." You see, we all
speak to ourselves regularly, but it is frequently harsh and
judgmental talk. The thing that feels weird about speaking to
ourselves in forgiveness is not that we are talking to ourselves,
but that we are saying nice things.
Elements For Accomplishing
Forgiveness
There are certain elements involved in walking through the process of
forgiving when we have judged:
1. Recognition: First, we need to recognize that we have
judged (sinned). Denial and fear can often interfere with our
ability to see what we have done.
2. Confession: Then we need to confess that we have sinned.
3. Repentance: This means to turn away from the sin. We
need to hate the sin and want to no longer walk in that way.
4. Forgiveness: We need to make a decision to forgive, and
then forgive from our heart.
5. Accept forgiveness from God. Sometimes another person
needs to verbalize to us that God has forgiven us before we are
able to accept this fact.
6. Ask the Lord to fill that place in our heart with His
presence. We need Him to take up residence in that place that
had previously contained bitterness, judgment, and blame.
In the case of close relationships, which is of course true of
yourself, when you judge you have two things to do:
1. Resolve the problem in the spiritual realm (forgive and be
forgiven).
2. Restore the relationship with the other person - in this
case yourself. You need to love yourself. See Chapter 12 in
the book for more on this.
How To Pray
Forgiveness must come from the heart to be effectual:
- So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you,
from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses
(Matthew 18:35).
Jesus always looks on the heart, not the behavior, and we
can't fool Him. Therefore,
It is always important that we forgive from our heart as
the living Lord leads, rather than recite a rote prayer as
though it were a magical formula.
You Need To Speak Forgiveness
Please be aware of the important position that words have in our
prayers of forgiveness. For some reason, God set up the
universe in such a way that words have power. Then God said,
"Let there be light," and there was light (Genesis 1:3). The words
that I speak bring my thoughts into reality. Once they are spoken,
it is as though a legal contract has been signed, or a legal event
has happened, in the spiritual realm. The words can be "bad"
and bring about difficulty (for example judging), or they can be
"good" and bring about life (for example blessing someone).
Though the Bible doesn't explain to us why words have power, it
does make the fact abundantly clear, that they do have great
power.
How To Forgive God And Yourself
Accomplishing forgiveness of God and of yourself is very similar
to forgiving others who are close to us. In the case of close,
important relationships, we not only want to stop the reaping
from our Bitter Root Judgment, we also want to restore the
relationship. If we have judged a close person, this attitude has
probably affected our behavior towards them. If they are
sensitive people, our new behavior has hurt them, and we need
to take responsibility for our behavior and ask them to forgive us.
For example, imagine that your best friend completely forgets
about your birthday. You are hurt by this, and you begin to
withdraw from the relationship. Your friend can tell that you are
angry, but doesn't know why. When you realize that you have
judged him (or her), you need to pray as mentioned previously
("Elements Involved In Accomplishing Forgiveness"). This takes
care of the spiritual aspect of the problem, but now you need to
restore your relationship with him.
You need to go to your friend, confess that you have judged him,
and have allowed your bitterness to affect how you have treated
him. Then you ask him to forgive you for withdrawing, and your
friendship is restored.
In a similar way, when you have judged God or yourself, you
likewise need to resolve:
- The problem in the spiritual realm
as well as
- The problem in the relationship.
After all, these are the two most important relationships you have,
and judgments interfere with these intimate relationships. You
need these relationships to be loving, open, and intimate, or life
will not go well.
For example, suppose you judge yourself when you fall short of
proper behavior. When you realize you have done this, you
confess this to the Lord, forgive yourself and are forgiven by
God. Then you need to restore your relationship with yourself by
speaking to yourself, confessing what you have done, and
asking forgiveness. You say exactly the same things you would
say to your close friend when he or she forgot your birthday.
Forgiving Is Miraculous
My "Dog Story"
Perhaps you already read this story elsewhere on
this website.
If so, just skip it.
If not, I think it will really help you to grasp the
simplicity and power of the Lord Jesus' provision
for us.
I am a jogger, and I live on the side of a mountain. In the winter it
is icy, and I can't run here; because I will fall and break
something. Therefore I drive 4 miles to town. There is a street
that is about 1 1/2 miles out and 1 1/2 miles back that is plowed
and sanded and does not have much traffic. That is my running
track in the winter.
One day a few years ago I was almost at the far end of the run
when two mid-sized dogs ran out after me. I have learned that
you don't run from dogs, so I turned on them and I shouted,
"Hey, you get back there."
They skidded to a stop. The owner was a woman who was
standing on the sidewalk.
She said, "Hey, don't talk to my dogs like that."
I said, "Lady, you have to be kidding me. We are in town, there is
a leash law here. Your dogs shouldn't be here in the street."
She called her dogs and went inside.
As I continued my run, I was very upset. I thought, "This is the
only convenient place I have to run, and I'm not going to let them
spoil that. What will I do about it? I know what. I have a foot long
steel bar in my garage. I'll carry that. Then when they come out,
I'll take care of them."
Then I thought again. It wasn't really the dogs' fault, and I'd
probably get in trouble if I hurt them. Then what can I do instead?
"I know what I'll do," I thought. "I'll carry my cell phone. Then
when they come out after me, I'll grab one of them by the collar
and call the dog warden. Then she'll get a ticket, and that should
fix her."
I finished my run, drove home, took a shower, and went to my
office.
As I sat down, I was still chewing over this situation. As I
grumbled over it, I got the distinct impression that the Lord was
tapping me on the shoulder. I knew what He wanted: He wanted
me to forgive the woman. I didn't want to forgive her, and argued
with the Lord.
"But she was so thoughtless. She had no right to let her dogs
loose, etc, etc, etc."
Eventually I knew it was a losing battle arguing with the Lord, so I
agreed to forgive her, thought I still didn't want to. I realized I
wasn't angry at the dogs. I was angry at the owner.
As I prayed, gradually I calmed down. I forgave her, asked the
Lord to forgive me for judging her. I asked Him to take out the
bitter root I had just planted, to cleanse that place, and to fill it
with His presence.
I began to recognize that she had a permanent scowl on her face;
and a healthy person would have said something like,
"I'm sorry, sir. Are you alright? Did they scare you?"
I realized that she was a wounded and unhappy person, and I
began to pray for her. I suspected that she might not know the
Lord, and began to pray for her salvation.
- Suddenly it was as though I was struck by lightning: I
realized that I was seeing her the way the Lord sees her. I
wasn't praying for her because it was the "Christian thing to
do." I was praying for her because I saw her pain and
neediness.
that. I was the judge, she was wrong, I was right, and I was going
to make her pay.
Now I saw her as Christ sees her. I saw her neediness and
wounding.
A miracle had occurred.
Before I prayed, I was a bit nuts. I was on the throne, she was
wrong, and I was sure I was right. I was in the mind of the "flesh."
After I prayed, I had the mind of Christ. Jesus in me (in that place
where I had just invited Him to enter) was producing "good fruit."
I was thinking the way He was, and I was acting the way He
would act.
When we forgive, a miracle occurs. It is not something we can
accomplish on our own.
We can repress our anger, or try to be nice; but we can't change
what is inside us.
Only the blood of Jesus can accomplish it. And it does!
It is the ONLY CURE for depression.
Now that you understand that it is your forgiving and
being forgiven by the Lord that will set you free from the
bad fruit in your life, and from your feelings of
depression; it is important that you understand that you
are not a bad child who has been caught with your hand
in the cookie jar. That is not God's attitude at all. Jesus
not only provided forgiveness for your sins, He is eager
to do just that. In fact, He will lead you down the path to
freedom.
Click here to go to Chapter 6 to learn how
eager Jesus is to set you free.
Complete your journey
- You should get the book to get the rest of the
story.
Only about half of the contents of the book are posted on
the website, and you will need the rest of the information to
complete your journey
Buying and using the book will be one of the best
investments you ever made in yourself. And you can return
it for a full refund if it does not measure up to your
expectations.
Click here to see how to buy the book.
- If you can not afford to buy a copy, email us your situation
and we will consider sending you a free copy. We want
everyone to experience the freedom Jesus promised!
Email us at: edkurath@divinelydesigned.com.
Copyright 2003 by Edward Kurath
Divinely Designed
Being changed into the image of Jesus
Being changed into the image of Jesus
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